North Korea threatened ‘thousands-fold’ revenge against U.S. sanctions. Defense minister said it has begun building a really big origami bomb.
Tiger Woods was arraigned on a DUI charge, will likely be sentenced to roadside divot repair for the next four weekends.
Woman accused pop star Usher of failing to disclose alleged STD. Also claimed he wouldn’t reveal whether he wore “boxers or briefs.”
Man charged in Taylor Swift case denied being a grouper, testified he couldn’t even swim.
Foreign minister warned U.S. not to meddle in Russian elections, also warned against fiddling with the thermostat in the Kremlin.
Vice President Mike Pence denied he was running for president in 2020, but added he was soliciting to be the next Colonel Sanders.
Hackers demanded millions in ransom from HBO, who in turn sent out Paulie “Walnuts” to take care of the problem.
This week was the 10-year anniversary of the global financial meltdown. Pundits knew it was going to happen, with them giving away all those free toasters.
After President Trump gave warning speech to North Korea, Buffalo Wild Wings scraped new ad campaign that touted their “Fire & Fury Chicken Fingers.”
Police warned not to shoot Bigfoot if discovered in the woods. But added that if you see him getting a Slurpy at 7-11, anything goes.
American Bowling Association updated league policy to include, “No Crying” rule.
Fistfights and screaming matches broke out at rally in Charlottesville, even after MC told the crowd to turn off all cell phones and keep their table talk to a minimum.
100-year-old fruitcake found in “almost edible” condition was given to “Mikey” because he hates everything. Amazingly, he liked it!
After nuclear threat, Guam saw a drop in tourism not seen since they started playing Kenny G. at all the beach cabanas.