Puppy Training Classes: 3 Useful Tips for a Tail - Wagging Labrador Retriever

Professional Dog Trainer Helps Lab Pup Become Well-Behaved Adult

The world's greatest puppy, as any dog owner will tell you, is the one sitting by your side. For me that puppy is Brady, our four-month-old Labrador Retriever.

However awesome our pup, Brady still needs obedience school training. So at the age of three months, we enrolled him at PetSmart for private classes. Our instructor, Elaine, has been teaching us invaluable tips and training techniques.

Hollowed be thy Name

As far as I can tell, most puppies do not pray before they eat. If they did, it would have to be a short invocation, as many seem uncontrollably anxious to dive into their kibble.

Brady is no exception. He often dives feet first into the bowl for a meal that lasts less than a New York minute. As stated by the ASPCA, food gobbling may lead to stomach bloating and discomfort.

Our trainer, Elaine, offered an excellent solution to the problem.

To tame the fast-eating habit, mix the puppy's food with a quarter cup of mashed pumpkin or squash and place the fusion into a hollowed natural bone. The barrier, Elaine explained, will force Brady to hit the brakes, as he meticulously digs out the concoction.

The suggestion works perfectly. Now Brady spends one hour eating a meal that would normally be scarfed down in 30 seconds.

Ignorance is Bliss

Nipping and biting is a trait shared by many puppies, including Brady. Need proof? Just look at the scars on my wrists and fingers.

To curtail the unwanted behavior, Elaine suggested we ignore Brady.

If Brady starts to nip and bite, Elaine recommended we stand up and face away from him for 20 or 30 seconds.

After the time-out, return to playing; if the attack recurs, stand up again and ignore.

The technique, as I read on pets.webmd.com, mimics the bite inhibition learned from other puppies. If a puppy bites his playmate too hard, the victim of the nip may pull away and cease the activity.

Now, ignoring a puppy may sound mean, but it works brilliantly.

When Brady starts to lunge and bite, I stand up and turn my back toward him. He calms down and looks disappointed. When I begin to play again, Brady stops his malicious behavior and all is right in the world.

Puppy Recites Gettysburg Address (well almost)

The main reason Brady was enrolled in obedience school was to learn the basics - sit, stay, lie down, fetch, and speak. Through positive reinforcement, Elaine taught Brady those basic commands 20 minutes into the session.

Positive reinforcement, as detailed by The Humane Society, uses praise and treats to reward your dog for performing a desired behavior.

Elaine used short commands and immediate treats to gently coax him to perform a variety of commands. She was so proficient; I'd bet she could get him to recite the Gettysburg Address.

As that is a lot of pressure for all involved, I'll gladly settle for the basics.

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Top Three Comedy Films: Comparing “Fargo,” “Annie Hall,” and “Best in Show”

Funniest Movies of All Time Are Dark, Neurotic, and Furry

Preparing a list of the top comedy movies is impossible, until now. My three funniest films of all time are "Fargo," "Annie Hall," and "Best in Show."

Sizing up the three classics will stir debate in comedy circles, especially among rodeo clowns, who take humor seriously.

"Fargo" - A Lot Can Happen in the Middle of Nowhere

"Fargo" is a dark comedy about a financially strapped car salesman who hires two thugs to kidnap his wife, hoping to get a hefty ransom from her father.

Quicker than you can say "Paul Bunyan," the scheme goes awry. The thugs kill indiscriminately and someone ends up in a wood chipper.

Sound funny? Well in the world of dark comedy, it stands alone.

The brainchild of Joel and Ethan Cohen, humor abounds from the ensuing police investigation in a town where murder is about as rare as steak tartare.

Who can resist a comedy where the kidnapper orders the victim to stay calm in the back seat of the car by saying:

"Keep it still back there, lady, or else we're gonna have to, ya know, to shoot ya."

Gritty storytelling, flavorful dialogue, and gallows humor.

Hysterical!

"Annie Hall" - A Nervous Romance

In contrast to the macabre plot of "Fargo," "Annie Hall" walks the viewer through the twists and turns of romance.

This masterpiece is about New York comedian, Alvy Singer, and his relationship with Annie Hall. The film, written and directed by Woody Allen, won an academy award for best picture, beating R2D2 and the gang from "Star Wars."

Allen uses many techniques to humorous advantage including animation, split screen, subtitles, and breaking the fourth wall.

But forget the directorial maneuvering; the laughs come from one-liners and dialogue.

Allen, and screenwriting partner Marshal Brickman, wrote a tight script delivered with comic brilliance by Allen and co-star, Diane Keaton.

Classic quotes include:

"Those who can do, teach. Those who can't teach, teach gym."

"A relationship, I think, is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark. "

If you haven't seen this movie, do so, immediately.

Best in Show - Some Pets Deserve A Little More Respect Than Others

The tightly scripted "Annie Hall," couldn't be more different than the mockumentary "Best in Show." The film follows several proud dog owners through their journey at the Mayflower Kennel Club Dog Show.

Among the competitors are Harlan Pepper (an aspiring ventriloquist) and his bloodhound Hubert. Gerry and Cookie Fleck, who run out of money, forcing them to sleep with their terrier, Winky, in the hotel's storage room. And lawyers Hamilton and Meg Swan, who take their dog, Beatrice, to therapy sessions.

You get the idea.

Cameras follow the eclectic cast as they prepare and compete for top prize.

Writer/director Christopher Guest, allows his talented cast to improvise scenes that are as hysterical as any scripted comedy.

As when Gerry Fleck advises his house sitter before leaving, "Don't water the plants, they're plastic."

Or when Hamilton Swan screams at his Weimaraner prior to competition, "Don't look at the fat ass losers or freaks, look at me!"

So there you have it. Three movies that will tickle your funny bone, all from a very different angle.

Laugh on!

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Costco Food Court: Culinary Gem Tucked by Tire Center Earns 5 Stars

As many restaurants are in quaint locations, I confess my reluctance of reviewing an eatery tucked in the corner of a 142,000 square foot facility. But the concrete narthex of Costco was oddly welcoming.

Passing the rows of shopping carts, I fumbled for my membership card and walked through the arch. A smile and nod from a beaming greeter eased my trepidation.

"Welcome to Costco!"

I continued through the maze of widescreen TVs and felt so exceptional the absence of valet parking was quickly forgiven.

Hors D'Oueves

An ample variety of appetizers were scattered along the path to the dining room. Guests strolled freely between tables set up in the grocery area, mimicking a society cocktail party.

Although the portions were small, the bites were packed with flavor.

A spoonful of turkey chili, served from a crockpot, had a brazen southwest authenticity. A hint of cilantro and smoked paprika added extra flavor. If I were to take some home, I'd add sharp cheddar cheese and a dollop of sour cream.

Next, I sampled a handful of trail mix served in a muffin cup. My taste buds were pleasantly tickled with the perfect combination of almonds, shredded coconut, dried apricots, and chocolate chips. I declined seconds, as not to ruin my appetite.

A bite-sized spinach square topped off my trifecta of amuse-bouche. Baked to perfection in a toaster over, this lightly crisped pastry tasted like it just fell off the boat from Athens.

The servers, many of whom doubled as chefs, were friendly and brimming with product knowledge.

"Feta?" I asked a young lady serving the spanakopita.

"Yes, sir," she replied, "With a hint of parsley."

Unlike restaurants of similar caliber, the appetizers were bottomless, complimentary, and available for purchase.

The Court - Mood for Food

Scooting though the checkout line unencumbered, I reached the atrium that housed the food court. Open air and spacious, the ambiance was palatial.

As it was Tuesday afternoon, seating was at half capacity. Busy weekends would surely find availability more difficult to secure.

The tables were of the plastic picnic variety, but well spaced to allow room for an overstuffed cart or stroller of triplets. A few even had umbrellas to simulate the atmosphere of an outdoor family reunion.

The high ceiling combined with boisterous conversation made for a tad more volume and echo than I prefer, but within the range of tolerability.

The menu hung on the wall in full view, allowing for easy reflection of the items. Prices were included in the description as to avoid surprises at checkout.

The tempting aroma of all beef dogs and Italian pies drifted through the air. And all but masked the strong scent of rubber floating in from the adjacent tire showroom.

The Main Course - Polish Sausage Paired with Lemonade

The main menu was unpretentious. Items included:

• Cesar salad 
• Hot dog or polish sausage 
• Pizza slice 
• Chicken bake

The line snapped along quickly as I gazed at the menu board. The tantalizing picture of the polish dog combo beckoned. And at a price of $1.50, I could not resist. 

The link was swaddled in a bun and passed over the counter with tenderness normally not seen outside a maternity ward. I held pure culinary perfection in my hand: symmetrical, aromatic and tantalizing.

A complimentary side of sauerkraut came with the entrée. The thinly sliced cabbage was presented in a petite plastic cup, similar to those used in Jello shots.

Adjacent to the counter were additional toppings. I delivered a light trail of diced onions and relish by cranking the handle on a mechanical condiment dispenser.

Mustard and ketchup, pumped from oversized tubs, completed the delicacy.

For beverage, a cup was provided to use at the fountain station. Upon seeing lemonade, I stepped up and pushed the lever. The citrus drink spilled into the Styrofoam goblet flawlessly, which I then capped and inserted with a straw.

I hustled to a table.

The polish dog was custom made for a hearty appetite, as the link extended well beyond the length of the bun. With many eateries reducing product, Costco's hearty approach was a welcome surprise.

The sausage had the special combination of spices and seasoning. The bite packed enough heat to tantalize, but not so much as to ignite a five- alarm fire.

The sauerkraut added an old-world flavor that had me convinced I was at a country inn on the outskirts of Warsaw.

A symphony of fine taste!

All in all, the Costco food court offered an outstanding culinary experience that made both my belly and wallet smile. I highly recommend this culinary gem the next time you're departing from the warehouse facility.

Five stars.

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80s Music – Top Seven Q&A in New Wave

Answers to Lyrics from a Totally Awesome Decade

Don't be embarrassed if you crank your stereo to "Just Like Heaven" by the Cure. You're not alone. Sales of music from the 80s increased more than 30 percent in 2012, according to the New York Post.

Although synthpop, glam metal, and alternative rock were righteous, many questions were posed in song titles and lyrics.

And after 30 years, no philosopher has had the guts to tackle these long-forgotten musical puzzles. I've taken it upon myself to provide answers - wrong or right. So here goes …

Question 7: Should I stay or should I go?

English punk rock band The Clash posed this question in 1982. A rational answer may be found in a single, foreboding lyric, as shown on YouTube:

If I go there will be trouble, and if I stay it will be double

Answer: Go! This is no-brainer. And the sooner the better.

Question 6: Who can it be now?

One of New Wave's most perplexing questions was asked by the Australian band Men at Work. Lyrics suggest the narrator is being haunted by psychotic voices:

Who can it be knocking at my door
Make no sound, tiptoe across the floor
I've done no harm, I keep to myself
There's nothing wrong with my state of mental health

Although the singer proclaims sanity, the video, as seen on mtv.com, reveals him parading around with no pants while a space alien pounds on his door. Clearly a disconnect with reality.

Answer: It can be Barney Fife, a caveman or, the UCLA marching band.

Take your pick.

Question 5. Don't drink, don't smoke - what do you do?

Adam Ant belted this in the 1982 classic "Goody Two Shoes."

The lyrics, as heard on mtv.com, are clearly sung by a nonconformist:

No one's gonna tell me
What's wrong or what's right
Or tell me who to eat with sleep with
Or that I've won the big fight big fight

Answer: The lady in question spent many hours roaming the mall in Calvin Klein jeans - and flirting with the manager of Orange Julius.

Question 4: Is there something I should know?

British rock band Duran Duran posed this question in the 1983 chart topper, as seen on vevo.com. The words suggest an impassioned relationship:

And fiery demons all dance when you walk through that door
Don't say you're easy on me you're about as easy as a nuclear war

Answer: Yes, there is something you should know: Continue dating and you may need to be fitted for a HAZMAT suit. 

Question 3: Do you really want to hurt me?

Boy George made this inquiry in the 1983 hit, as seen on vevo.com. The lyrics hint of the lover's intent:

Give me time
To realize my crime
Let me love and steal
I have danced inside your eyes

Whoa! You just tangoed in someone's pupils, I can't imagine you'd want to turn around and cause emotional sorrow … right?

Answer: No heartache intended. But pain is often a by-product of thoughtless actions - like sitting next to someone of formidable girth on the carnival Scrambler.

Question: 2: Would I lie to you?

British pop duo Eurythmics advanced this motion on their 1985 hit.

Lead singer Annie Lennox takes the perspective of a fuming girlfriend who splits on her cheating lover:

My friends, know what's in store
I won't be here anymore
I've packed my bags
I've cleaned the floor
Watch me walkin', walkin' out the door

I've seen the video on YouTube and this dame means business.

Answer: Polygraph test not required - she would not lie. She's definitely hitting the road, Jack.

Question 1: Don't you want me (baby)? 

The Human League drilled to the core of every relationship when singing this 1981 smash single. Sadly, it was never really difficult to answer. The lyrics, as heard on vevo.com, say it all:

The five years we have had have been such good times
I still love you
But now I think it's time I live my life on my own
I guess it's just what I must do

Answer: No. Not wanted. Maybe regrettably so.

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Leno’s 11 – Why Jay Should Think like Danny Ocean for Next Show

Jay Leno Should Round Up Ex-NBC Stars for New Late Night Program

It's official. Jay Leno will be leaving "The Tonight Show." Executives at NBC appear to be pushing the 60ish talk show host out to make room for the younger Jimmy Fallon.

What should be Leno's next play? Well, that's easy. The comic should think like Danny Ocean and organize a crew of disgruntled talent from the Peacock Network to seek revenge.

And in TV talk, there's only one kind: rating revenge!

The new show should be a must-definitely-see variety, sports, news, talk, sketch, reality, show extravaganza. Preferably on cable.

Here's a look at the players:

Ann Curry

The best sidekick would be one with something to prove, making Ann Curry, fired as co-host of NBC's "Today" show, the perfect candidate.

Sure she was criticized for being a tad solemn, as noted on people.com, but that could be alleviated in late night by serving cocktails a la Andy Cohen.

Watch the ratings soar as Curry sips an apple martini, leans back on the couch, and kicks her feet in the air like Sally O'Malley from "SNL."

And chemistry would be a non-issue, as Leno appears to like everybody. I'll bet he could end a Bernie Madoff interview with a handshake and smile.

"It was great having you," he may say, "Come back soon!"

Tiki Barber

Former NFL star and broadcaster, Tiki Barber, could prepare a sports segment for the show. Fired from NBC for breaking its moral conduct code by dating an intern, according to the Bleacher Report, Barber would likely enjoy much looser standards on cable.

Didn't two cast members from "Mad Men" just get married?

Barber would bode well to think outside the box and interview athletes from offbeat sports around the world. Who needs a sit down with Tiger Woods, when an interview can be had with the winner of the World Bog Snorkeling Championship?

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