Charles Manson died at 83, but still denied release
by parole board.
Black Friday pandemonium broke out when shoppers
tried to find the nearest Amazon.
Rare “Dracula” movie poster sold for $525,800 at
auction, taking a big bite from buyer’s checkbook.
Charlie Brown parade float was put on hold as he
underwent concussion protocol from missed football kick.
Uber paid $100,000 for silence on cyber-attack, but was
confused on how much to tip hackers.
Top 5 Worst Thanksgiving Side Dishes
- Maple-Roasted Boot Vegetables
- Cloned Duck Pâté
- Ricotta-Stuffed Squash Possums
- Swampmallow Fruit Salad
- Stuffed Groped Mushrooms
Country music music legend Mel TTTillis died at 85.
North Korean soldier who defected likes “Bruce
Almighty,” but added it wasn’t worth risking his life to see the blooper reel.
Oscar Pistorius’ prison sentence more than doubled
to 13 years, former Olympic runner skipped appeal.
Bruce Springsteen’s childhood home was put up for
sale, owner will consider a Badlands contract.
White House pardoned Thanksgiving turkeys, but still
held the candied yams accountable.
Top 5 Observations from the Macy’s Thanksgiving
Parade:
- Not to nitpick, but the flute player 3rd from the left just played a wrong note.
- Some of the turkey dancers seem to be phoning it in.
- The Pillsbury Doughboy just reached over and groped Hello Kitty.
- The Jolly Green Giant looks like a stalker.
- One of the pilgrims is on an iPhone.
David Cassidy’s last words were “So much wasted
time,” and not “The bus needs a transmission,” as previously reported.
Lou Bega appeared in advertising for New York Live,
touting the benefits of Annuity No. 5
Amazon workers went on strike in Europe, as
employees droned on about low wages.
Georgia Dome imploded in 12 seconds … 3 seconds
longer than Charlie Rose’s career.
Pixar executive, John Lassiter, takes leave of
absence after accused of being a harassing Monster, Inc.
Top 3 Least Controversial Political Topics for
Thanksgiving Dinner:
- What type of wood was used for George Washington’s teeth?
- Was the Louisiana Purchase made with a credit card?
- What font was used in the “Dewy Defeats Truman” headline?
- Was vice president Aaron Burr related to Raymond Burr?
- Did Abe Lincoln have a fake beard?
Credit card glitch at Macy’s reportedly did not
affect Black Friday shoplifters.
Study revealed that Calvin Klein “Eternity”
fragrance wore off in 7 hours, 49 minutes, and 5 seconds.
Mexico raised minimum wage to $4.70 per day, making
the dream of buying a Starbucks Chestnut Praline Chai Tea Latte a reality.
https://twitter.com/garygeorgevich
