Top 3 Offbeat Ballot Propositions

Voting for president is one of the great privileges of democracy, but on Election Day you may also be confronted with a slew of ballot measures.

Local laws allow these propositions to be added after supporters gather a predetermined number of signatures, usually by standing outside of Target and waving a clipboard.

Needless to say, some are a tad quirky. 

Cymbal-Banging Monkey Statue

To attract tourists, a proposal in Deerhoof, Minnestoa would use taxpayer dollars to erect a giant chimp playing the cymbals.  The fifty-story monkey would clang every hour on the hour, much like a church bell tower.

Ex-zookeeper, Maverick Burnzinski, spearheaded the proposal after a short trip to London. 

“I heard Big Ben chime and thought we should have a similar time piece,” he said, “and that’s when I thought of my favorite childhood toy.”

Not everyone is onboard. 

“Sure we’d like to bring in tourist dollars,” said Mayor Todd McPost, “but we’ve got to fix some potholes before putting up a King Kong clock.”

Klingon As Official Language

On the ballot in Bad Valley, Utah, is a measure to make Klingon the official language of the populace. 

The proposal barely made the ballot after a group of self-proclaimed nerds collected 600 signatures, mostly while waiting in line to see a midnight showing of  “The Hobbit.”

“Klingon may sound like gibberish,” said Marky Devlin, who spearheaded the movement, “but there’s a beauty to the cadence and who doesn’t like Star Trek?”

The ballot is not expected to pass, as a recent survey revealed 99% of the population is “more than satisfied” using English.

Paid Leave for Mime School

A last-minute proposal in Mt. Braden, Seattle, would grant paid leave for anyone attending mime school.

The community, know for supporting the arts, has gathered over 1,980 signatures. 

Mime is a soulful art form,” said Chef Farkins, who also appears on billboards with an umbrella being caught in the wind. 

“It’s time our business community supports this ancient medium of self-expression.”

Local Subway owner, Kit Kraven, disagrees. 

“If people want to act like they’re stuck in an imaginary box, that’s great, but I can’t afford to support them.”

The measure is not expected to pass.