Amazon lowered prices at Whole Foods this week, as the price of
a banana dropped to $74.50.
“Springsteen on Broadway” tickets went on sale. Working-class fans could purchase for $20,000.
As tensions rose, North Korea lobbed a water balloon at Japan.
Overheard at Video Music Awards after-party, “Are you Milli or
Vanilli?”
Richard Anderson, actor in “Six Million Dollar Man” died at
91. Steve Austin was chosen to be the
sole pallbearer.
Military operations continued as U.S. and South Korea simulated
a game of Red Rover.
Mark Zuckerberg overheard telling new daughter “You’re taking up
too much of MySpace.”
Matt Stafford celebrated being the highest paid player in the
NFL by guaranteeing at least 3 wins this season.
As tensions rose, North Korea gave Japan a wedgie.
FDA recalled pacemakers vulnerable to cyberattacks. In-store replacements were available at
participating Verizon stores.
A college student was accidently given $1M in financial aid –
still needed to borrow additional funds for textbooks.
Cowboys traded WR to Seahawks for senior cheerleader, after two
in squad suffered eyebrow-waxing accidents.
Kim Jong Un tasted a Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte, then agreed
to end North Korean nuclear program.
Fashion critics wondered what type of shoe Melania would wear to
the L.A. wildfire.
Special
Hurricane Harvey Coverage:
Econ Lodge offered free rooms to displaced hurricane residents,
yet still remained 90% unoccupied.
Joel Osteen denied sheltering flood victims based on a giant
game of BINGO.
Price gouging was reported, as a Kenny G. box set skyrocketed to
.35 cents.
Celebrity donations continued to roll in to Texas, as Burt
Reynolds pledged $8.00
Hurricane survival stories emerged, as family of five was pulled
from a Cracker Barrel gravy boat.
For more humor news & views, follow me on Twitter: @garygeorgevich
