Top 3 Oddball Ways To Increase Viewership At The PyeongChang Olympic Winter Games

TV viewership at the PyeongChang 2018 Olympic Winter Games is down.

But not all is lost. With a little tweaking, many events may be made more exciting to watch.

Here are a few suggestions:

Curling Canine

Curling may be made immediately more exciting by adding dogs to the mix.

How so?

Dogs love to chase brooms!

I can't sweep my garage without my Lab grabbing at the whisk end and trying to bring me down.

The same will work at the Olympics. As the stone glides down the ice, release a Siberian Husky.

Watch the pooch seize the bristles and get in a tug of war with the sweeper. Pulling and tugging may cause the Olympian to take a bad spill and possibly incur an injury.

But when the winner hobbles to the podium to receive a metal, you'll know he or she earned it.

Luge Escape

You've all seen it. The sled hurls down the slope at light speed with the Olympian lying down, arms firmly at side, as if wearing a straight jacket.

How could this be more exciting?

Easy.

Have the competitor wear an actual straight jacket. Audiences love a good escape artist.

The ride down the track could be thrilling to watch as the Olympian writhes and wriggles to gain freedom. If the bottom is reached without escape, points will be deducted.

And an unflattering tweet will undoubtedly be made.

Should the event gain popularity, handcuffs and a Chinese Water Torture Cell may be added.

Ice Dancing With The Fish

With the huge popularity of figure skating, ice dancing needs to set itself apart. 

Incorporating fishing into the mix may do the trick.

Small holes could be cut into the ice where participants drop in a line and get points for catching a pike, yellow perch, or whatever local fish may be circling about.

Imagine the cheers when a competitor does a triple axel, then reels in a Sturgeon.

It may introduce a whole new segment of people to the sport.

See you at the games!

Top 5 Mind-Boggling Predictions for 2018

Prince Harry Left at the Altar  

With the world watching, Prince Harry is stranded at the altar when fiancé Meghan Markle fails to walk down the aisle at their Royal Wedding.

A butler and footman scramble to find the bride-to-be while waiters swing through the crowd with plates of roaming appetizers, including mini jacket potatoes and chorizo prawn skewers.

Reality sets in when a horse drawn carriage, driven by country music star Kenny Chesney, is seen speeding away from Windsor Castle with a white-laced train caught in the door.

The relationship officially ends for Harry and Meghan after the couple is seen yelling at each other at a Pizza Hut in Piccadilly Circus.

Justin Timberlake Plays Polkas at Super Bowl Half Time

Justin Timberlake shocks fans at Super Bowl Lll when he takes the stage wearing a blue houndstooth vest and Bohemian peasant cap.

Instead of singing “Can’t Stop This Feeling,” Timberlake straps on an accordion and belts out a medley that includes the “Beer Barrel” and  “Doghouse” polkas.

Chaos ensues.   

Dancers try to improvise a two-step hop.  Band members scramble to find a clarinet and tuba.  Speakers blare, “I don’t want her, you can have her, she’s too fat for me!”

Afterward, Timberlake apologizes for the unexpected switch.

“I’ve always liked polkas,” he says, smiling, “I guess this may have not been the time.”

Network News Read by Talking Horses

Television networks, fed up with the inappropriate behavior of staff, decide to have the news read by horses. 

CNN starts the trend by bringing in a Clydesdale to fill in on weekends, then quickly expands the hoofed anchor to full-time duties.

Of course the loveable mammals only chew hay on camera, as an intern dubs over the audio, but ratings shoot through the roof.

Soon NBC, CBS, ABC, and Fox all have full-time thoroughbreds reading the top stories of the day.

The trend continues throughout the year with sports being read by goats and weather by pigs.

N. Korean Platoon Defects & Wins Olympic Curling Gold

A group of North Korean soldiers defect to South Korea across the demilitarized zone in heavy fog while riding on Hoverboards.

The soldiers, carrying brooms and heavy stones, make the dangerous journey to compete in the Winter Olympics curling event.  

Years of sweeping and cleaning in harsh conditions pay off as the team takes gold in a nail biting final against Sweden.

After the win, the team travels to America where they refuse a visit to the White House.

Anti-Aging Drug Turns Millions of Americans Into Babies

A new drug that hyper-reverses the aging process sweeps across America. 

The drug, known as “Springtime,” is initially prescribed by physicians to “knock a few years off,” but when taken in large quantities can morph a user into a toddler within hours.

The FDA scrambles to halt distribution, but not before over 2.75 million people become infants.

The sudden influx of newborns puts a heavy strain on family and relatives, who now have to buy cribs and find daycare for their loved ones.

To add insult to injury, caregivers cannot claim the children as dependents on their 2018 taxes.

The drug is made illegal by mid year, but underground shipments still pour in from Peru and are doled out from PEZ dispensers.

Follow me on Twitter: @garygeorgevich for more breaking news and insight

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Humor Rewind by Gary George - A Week Glance at News December, 03 - December 09, 2017

In news that shocked the legal world, Horton admitted he didn’t hear anything.

Motor Trend named Trump “Car of the Year.”

After allegations of improper behavior, Garrison Keillor retired to Lake I-Be-Gone.

A new study revealed dogs are smarter than cats, but either one capable of degree completion at University of Phoenix

UPS warned of delays this week and apologized to criminals waiting longer to steal packages from porches.

Netflix announced ‘House of Cards” would resume production in 2018 with new star, Ashton Kutcher.

Sponsored:

Pay off your house early with this insane trick: get a job and send money to the mortgage company

The State of California is being sued because too many students can’t read – it is a class action suit.

‘Layaway Angel’ at Toys R Us, paid $100,000 of strangers’ bills, also bought

Geoffrey the Giraffe an oversized Halls Mentho-Lyptus drop.

Former Today Show weatherman Willard Scott accused of inappropriately touching the Doppler radar screen in 2012.

Airlines industry profits soared 11 percent in 2017, mostly from removing salt from pretzels and selling cannabis bathrobes in SkyMall catalog.

Winston Churchill’s glasses fetched $8,000 at auction – buyer complained the spectacles pinched his nose.

Tony the Tiger was accused of cereal groping.

NBC revealed it would not pay off Matt Lauer’s contract, and would instead use the money to add lumbar support to all the chairs on The Voice.

Following failed Pontiac Silverdome implosion,  “The Backstreet Boys” concert went on as scheduled.

Billy Bush confirmed voice on tape was Donald Trump, then continued dressing mannequins in Dick’s Sporting Goods.

After CVS agreed to buy health insurer Aetna, Rite Aid announced it would correct the typo in name to read Right Aid.  

Olympic Committee banned Russia from 2018 Winter Games, also booted Fred Flintstone from Ice Capades for drinking 5-Hour Energy.

Follow me on Twitter: @garygeorgevich for more breaking news and insight
https://twitter.com/garygeorgevich