Top 5 Mind-Boggling Predictions 2018 - Results

In January 2018, I made 5 bold predictions for the upcoming year.  Well it's time to review and I'm sorry to report none of them came to fruition.  Following are the predictions along with a brief synopsis of reality.

5. Prince Harry Left at the Altar  

With the world watching, Prince Harry is stranded at the altar when fiancé Meghan Markle fails to walk down the aisle at their Royal Wedding.

A horse drawn carriage, driven by country music star Kenny Chesney, is seen speeding away from Windsor Castle with a white-laced train caught in the door.

What really happened: Wedding vows exchanged without a hitch - then Meghan begins a life-long hat battle with Kate Middleton.

4. Justin Timberlake Plays Polkas at Super Bowl Half Time

Justin Timberlake shocks fans at Super Bowl Lll when he takes the stage wearing a blue houndstooth vest and Bohemian peasant cap.

Instead of singing “Can’t Stop This Feeling,” Timberlake straps on an accordion and belts out a medley that includes the “Beer Barrel” and  “Doghouse” polkas.

What really happened: No polka.  Re-mixed pop hits and dance moves seen by 106 million viewers, except this one, who was preparing buffalo pickle chips.

3. Network News Read by Talking Horses

Television networks, fed up with the inappropriate behavior of staff, decide to have the news read by horses.  

CNN starts the trend by bringing in a Clydesdale to fill in on weekends, the trend continues throughout the year with sport goats and weather pigs.

What really happened: No talking horses,  but controversy  abound, as Megyn Kelly is fired for making comments about blackface and Halloween costumes.


2. N. Korean Platoon Defects; Wins Olympic Curling Gold

A group of North Korean soldiers defect to South Korea carrying brooms and heavy stones. 

Years of sweeping and cleaning in harsh conditions pay off as the team takes gold in a nail-biting final against Sweden.

What really happened:  No defections.  No Medals.  But N. Korea seeks to add ice Ping Pong to next winter games.

1. Anti-Aging Drug Turns Millions of Americans Into Babies

A new drug that hyper-reverses the aging process sweeps across America.  The drug, known as “Springtime,” is initially prescribed by physicians to “knock a few years off,” but when taken in large quantities can morph a user into a toddler within hours.

The FDA scrambles to halt distribution, but not before over 2.75 million people become infants.

What really happened:  No new miracle drug - you're just a year older.

Follow me on Twitter: @garygeorgevich for more breaking news and insight

https://twitter.com/garygeorgevich

Humor Rewind by Gary George - A Week Glance at News June 25 - July 1, 2017

Tiger woods reveals he's receiving "professional help" to manage medications.  Understandable, as we all know how difficult it can be to keep your prescriptions organized.

Bill Cosby suffers another setback as he loses honorary degree - this time from Trump University.

After helping to start the company, Uber CEO abruptly resigns.  
Then calls cab to get home from office.

Daniel Day Lewis quits acting, prompting several sequels to be put on hold, including:
3. Lincoln Resurrection 
2. One More Mohican (This Time We Mean It) 
1. My Left Foot 2 – I Still Don’t Know What You Painted Last Summer

Johnny Depp shows remorse for threatening to kill the president.  But still refuses to apologize for his portrayal of Tonto.  

Hackers hit U.K. Parliament, exposing hundreds of silly walks.
Residents told to "watch their step."

Gorilla dances in kiddie pool and then goes viral.  Director of "Flashdance" sues the ape for copyright moves.

Italian cyclist Tony Fenaldo is banned from the Tour de France after testing positive for Nutella.

Summer Camp Activities: Intro to Polk
9 - 10 am:  Three Steps and One Hop
10 - noon:  - Tying A Double-Knot Shoelace
Lunch: Fried Baloney Sandwiches
1- 2 pm:  Accordion Beat Basics
2 -4 pm: Untying a Double-Knot Shoelace

President Trump announces travel ban to Funky Town, prompting hundreds to get their groove on.  

Greek historians uncover document that shows they could have won the had they had 301 soldiers.

Humor Report February 6, 2016 - By Gary George

Humor Report January 26, 2016

Humor Report by Gary George, January 26, 2016

Humor Report Top 5 Stories - January 23, 2016

Humor Report - Week in Review: January 17 - 24, 2016

A CNN poll revealed the democratic race was getting tighter.  Bernie Sanders had 30% of the vote.  Hillary Clinton followed closely with 32%.  And singer Adele led both candidates with 48%.

Internet betting site FanDuel was sued for $50,000 in damages after a man in a Broncos jersey throat-punched man in Patriot’s jersey. 

Mariah Carey received a 35-carat engagement ring from her billionaire fiancé James Packer.  Friends said the pop singer bragged about the gift until seeing it on the Home Shopping Network for $35.99.

Country singer Willie Nelson announced a benefit concert for Farmville.  The once popular mobile app has suffered declining popularity as people determined raising livestock on a phone is a senseless, idiotic, waste of time. 

A massive blizzard hit the east coast on Saturday, closing roads, mass transportation and Broadway, proving once and for all – the show really doesn’t have to go on ….