Labrador Retriever Puppies: 7 Insanely Worthwhile Headaches

Nipping, Chewing, Yelping and Other Lifestyle Changes

After posting a picture on Facebook of our 8-week-old Labrador Retriever puppy, Brady, one comment read "possibly the cutest animal ever." And the breed is certainly beloved. According to the AKC, Labs are the nation's most popular dog for the 22nd straight year. 

Brady is the third Labrador puppy we've had during the last twenty years and is an absolute joy. But owning a Lab pup is not all cute photos and face licking. A young pooch will test your patience and change your lifestyle until settling into an exceptional lifelong companion.

Here are a few things I discovered by inviting four-legged friends into our home.

7. Sleeping soundly will be a forgotten memory.

Puppies do not sleep through the night - and neither will you. Apparently, the little tykes miss their liter mates and want companionship. The yelping starts seconds after putting him in his crate and continues until his release from solitary confinement. Think high-pitch screeching meets unnerving whine - sweet dreams are not made of this.

6. Everything you own will become a chew toy.

Lab pups have razor sharp baby teeth and have a singular mission of satisfying their oral tendencies. Sure you bought tons of cute playthings from PetSmart, but puppies do not discriminate between a deer antler and your TV remote control. You'll spend every waking moment grabbing contraband out of your puppy's iron clad jaw. Favorite items include reading glasses, appliance cords, video game controllers, decorative pillows and your nose.

5. A quiet angel will turn into a crazed Diablo.

The common term is the Zoomies and you'll know when your dog has them. The critter will run frenetically around your home, darting wildly and crisscrossing in every direction. You won't know whether to grab the video camera or call the church for an exorcist. The possessed mutt will jump, lunge, crash and burnout. It's oddly cute, until the table lamp lands on the ground with a shattered bulb.

4. Your day planner will revolve around your new best friend.

Want to take a day off and go to a spa? Not unless you plan on bringing Fido along for a seaweed wrap. Your new puppy will require your attention every few hours, whether to be let outside or be served a meal. Your once flexible schedule is now dictated by newfound pup responsibilities. Oh yeah, and that vacation you were thinking about - fuhgedda bow dit.

3. Money will fly out the car window.

Puppies are cute and for good reason, they're ghastly expensive. A trip to the vet for an initial health check and vaccination can set you back over $120. And that's just the beginning. Add food costs, treats, bedding, collars, medications, leashes, bowls, cleaning supplies, brushes etc., and you realize your retirement may be at risk. And that's just the normal costs associated with a puppy. Heaven forbid he eats a pair of nylons.

2. A beautiful castle will be reduced to a potty palace.

Guess what? Your newest family member has zero bathroom training. So as you're posting adorable pictures of your mutt on Facebook, the subject will be quietly sneaking off into a corner to leave a surprise for later. You'll quickly learn to keep a close eye on the little bugger and watch his every move. When he gives warning signs, you'll leap out of your recliner and escort him outside. Even the most closely guarded puppy will have an accident during housebreaking. When he does, the toxic cleanup begins - and it's not pleasant.

1. Nipping is no joke - you will be scarred.

Lab puppies are not for anyone who dreams of being a hand model. From the first day, your palms, fingers and wrists will be the target of vicious nipping attacks. People will tell you it's "normal" and "all in good fun," but those words are not too comforting, unless you're at ease stitching up your cuts like Rambo in "First Blood." You may want to buy oven mitts.

So there you have it, a few things to consider before getting the most popular breed on the planet. But by enduring some tribulations, you'll be rewarded with a loyal, affectionate, good-natured companion. And have a lifelong friend who will … oops, gotta go, my little boy needs to be let out.