Monday, April 1, 2013

Financial Crisis Worries? 3 Tips for Hiding Money at Home


Dang! You just stopped playing FarmVille long enough to learn your bank account can be looted by the government.
It just happened in Cyprus, according to USA Today, when the ruling party announced large uninsured deposits would be used for a bailout.
But you're smart. And immediately withdraw all the money from your bank, just in case the sharks knock on your door.
Now what? Where do you stash the cash?

Following are a few tips for storing your hard-earned moola at your crib.
Tell Her About it: The $15,000 Chicken Nugget
Stashing money in your house is not brain surgery, but does take common sense. The first rule of thumb is to share the location of the hiding place.
Is disclosure really important? Well, just ask the guy who hid $15,000 in the oven. Great idea, until his wife decided to cook some chicken nuggets for the kids.
The money, as reported by msn.com, went up in smoke.
If you don't trust anyone, I understand. But at the very least, hide your money where it won't be in jeopardy.

Approved hideaways include: 
  • the freezer
  • a mayonnaise jar 
  • a toilet tank
Risky hideaways include:
  • the dishwasher
  • a wood chipper
  • the barrel of your grandfather's civil war bayonet
As a final note, if you're hell bent on serving nuggets to the kiddies, let the professionals at McDonald'shandle the task. They have the poultry, a variety of delicious sauces, and the quality control to ensure there's not a wad of dinero in the broiler.
Who Let the Dogs Out? The $1,000 Treat
This may sound simple, but hide your cash in a secure place. Don't just throw it on the kitchen table like it's a box of stale donuts; you never know who will gain access.
A Florida family learned this lesson the hard way when its pet dog ate $1,000 in cash. The mixed-breed mutt, as reported by The St. Augustine Record, made a quick lunch of ten $100 dollar bills.
Now you may giggle and think, "I don't have a dog."
But many pets are resourceful enough to get what they want. I saw a kitten on YouTube order a case of sardines from Amazon.
There was good news for the Florida family. After inducing vomiting, the bills were recovered and pieced together.
But handling regurgitated jigsaw pieces is gross. And could have been avoided by keeping the money on top of the refrigerator.
Unless they have a monkey.
Don't You (Forget About Me) - $182,000 Bathroom
Sure you'd like to live forever, but chances are you're not a vampire (or other immortal being). So make sure you alert heirs of hidden loot. If not, your money may end up in the hands of "Joe the Drywaller."
Think I'm kidding? A contractor was tearing down the walls of a bathroom and found two metal boxes containing $182,000, according to Fox News.
The money was minted during times of joblessness and bank collapses (sound familiar) and most likely hidden to keep it out of struggling banks.
Mission accomplished!

The only problem is, the poor bastard passed away before he could confide in his children or snag a young bride.

Now, maybe your offspring "are rotten eggs" or "don't deserve a nickel" of your hard-earned cash. In which case, leave the money holed up next to the ceiling fan.
Joe will take his kids to Disney World.


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