Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Paul Simon: 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover - Revised for Social Media


Classic Breakup Song Updated for the Digital Age

Grammy-winner Paul Simon released the song "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover" in 1975. The tune was an instant classic that mixed a crazy-cool drum riff with breakup rhymes for a guy seeking to exit a relationship.

Recently, after listening to the song on YouTube,  I realized much of the advice is outdated and impractical. I mean, who today would actually "hop on a bus" or "slip out the back" to break up?

Probably not even Gus or Jack.

With the proliferation of social media, there are many new options to end a romance. As Paul Simon is likely too preoccupied to update his lyrics, I've taken the liberty to revise the chorus to accommodate the digital age.

With my apologies to Mr. Simon:
Post it on her wall, Saul
Break the news on Skype, Ike
Put it in a tweet, Pete
As if you didn't meet
Shoot her a text, Rex
Mark her name as spam, Cam
It's easy to unfriend, Ben
When you're close to the end
Upload it on YouTube, Hugh
Delete her from LinkedIn, Tim
Send her an email, Dale
It's real easy to bail

Log it on your blog, Dog
Delete her from Myspace, Trace
Broadcast it on a pod, Rod
Then you're ready to move on
So, there you have it. No more need to make a plan, Stan.

Just use Instagram.



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