Saturday, September 20, 2014

Peace Corp Workers Strike For Minimum Wage

Note: Originally published on absrdcomedy.com.  Check out more hilarious parody news stories.


Taking their cue from disgruntled fast-food workers, Peace Corp personnel from around the world are striking to receive minimum wages.

Currently, the 7,000 plus operatives are volunteers, who receive absolutely no payment for their services. 

And many are fed up.

Eddie Robzoski, who joined the international service organization last year, echoes the sentiment of many workers.

“I built a three-mile sewer line in Nicaragua, in smoldering heat, all while swatting mosquitos the size of owls … and what did I get … nada … zip … zilch.”

The recruits believe they should receive at least 15 cents per hour for their tireless work.

 “They can afford to pay us a few pennies,” said Winston Abelman, an English teacher in Honduras, “I mean, c’mon, the local mayor is walking around with a gold pinky ring.”

Demonstrations and protests are spreading around the globe.

In Haiti, police were called when hundreds of Peace Corp workers sat in the road and blocked an oxcart from bringing bananas to a clinic.

 “We’ll stay here as long as it takes,” said volunteer Chelsea Hoops, “it’s worth getting arrested and thrown in a tiny, dirty cell for 20 years.”

Although Peace Corp workers accept the position knowing they won’t get paid, many believe compensation is in order.

“The brochure shows everyone smiling and having a good time,” said Madge Smitherton, “but when you find yourself planting tomatoes next to a crocodile farm in Cameroon, you’d kinda like a salary.”

An unidentified Peace Corp representative said he understands the view of the workers, but his hands are tied.  Literally, he is being held in a local Malaysian police station for wearing shorts that are cut too high above the knee.

Recent recruit Brandon Butterman hopes the conflict is resolved before he leaves for Panama, where he’ll show rural cafe owners how to operate Keurig coffee machines. 

“I want to help people,” he said, “but to be honest, I’d like to earn enough so when I get home I can afford to download that new song by Ed Sheeran.”

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