As the end of the world nears, I’d like to have lunch with
the inventor of the chip clip.
This small clasp may be one of the greatest fabrications in
the last century, but is often overlooked.
Countless bags of Doritos, Funions and Pringles, that would’ve
previously been eaten stale, enjoy extended life with this great device.
“Thank you,” I’d say, “Order whatever you’d like.”
Earthly destruction may not be pleasant, so I’d like to buy
pants that fit comfortably. My entire
life has been spent in size 33W x 30L, too short, or 32W x 32L, too tight, too
long. I need to buy 33W x 31L. I know they’re out there, and will spend what
little time I have left to insure a relaxed inseam when I inhale my last
breath.
By December 21, I’d like to learn how to set the automatic
timer on my coffee machine. With
everything else going on, I don’t need to get up and start fiddling with a
brewing machine. As I’ve lost the
instructions for the Cuisinart, I may have to browse online for an owner’s
manual. The time will be well time
spent.
Best wishes to you and yours on the end of days.
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