Sunday, March 2, 2014

Top 9 Whacky Plots for 2014 Oscar Nominees


Have you ever guessed the plot of a movie based on its title?  I have many times.  Often it’s easy.  “Jaws” is a good example. 

If the title is vague it’s more difficult.  That was the case with this year’s Academy Award best picture nominees.

Following are storylines I imagined could unfold based on each title.

American Hustle

Set in the 70s, a disbarred attorney claims to have discovered the fountain of youth.  People wearing bell-bottoms and mood rings are left penniless after paying to bathe in the magical pool.  All played to a Donna Summer soundtrack.

Captain Phillips

A submarine cook is thrust into command after the crew is sickened with salmonella.  Double crossing and distrust are key plot components, along with the edibility of the Alaskan king crab.

Dallas Buyer Club

When Costco comes to Texas, a local government rallies to lock the retail giant from its community.  Deceit, passion, rage, and jealousy propel the story, along with unbeatable pricing on Gold Toe socks.

Gravity

Due to a freak cosmic shift in the moon, the Earth is left with zero gravity, forcing people to float randomly.  Mass chaos ensues, especially for a group waiting in line at the DMV in rural Kansas.

Her

The bride of Frankenstein comes alive in a reboot of the film classic.  Humor and horror are intertwined, as the creature’s friends throw a bridal shower in the private room of Olive Garden.


Nebraska

The state, known for cattle grazing, is the first state to secede from the union and elect a king.  Taxes are raised to build an extravagant castle, highlighted with a chocolate fountain.  Revolt follows.


Philomena

An airborne virus, discovered by Dr. Philomena, wreaks havoc in the U.S. when it causes senators to communicate by singing opera.

12 Years a Slave

After boarding the wrong flight to North Korea in the mid-1950s, a balloon folder from Minnesota spends a dozen years entertaining the ruling party.

The Wolf of Wall Street

A tense thriller unfolds in a New York office complex when a wild Canis lupus is discovered in the snack room of a hedge fund.  A heroic broker attempts to tame the beast by feeding it Cheetos.




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