Have you ever guessed the plot of
a movie based on its title? I have many times. Often it’s easy. “Jaws” is a good example.
If the title is vague it’s more
difficult. That was the case with this
year’s Academy Award best picture nominees.
Following are storylines I
imagined could unfold based on each title.
American Hustle
Set in the 70s, a disbarred
attorney claims to have discovered the fountain of youth. People wearing bell-bottoms and mood rings are
left penniless after paying to bathe in the magical pool. All played to a Donna Summer soundtrack.
Captain Phillips
A submarine cook is thrust into
command after the crew is sickened with salmonella. Double crossing and distrust are key plot
components, along with the edibility of the Alaskan king crab.
Dallas Buyer Club
When Costco comes to Texas, a
local government rallies to lock the retail giant from its community. Deceit, passion, rage, and jealousy propel
the story, along with unbeatable pricing on Gold Toe socks.
Gravity
Due to a freak cosmic shift in the
moon, the Earth is left with zero gravity, forcing people to float randomly. Mass chaos ensues, especially for a group
waiting in line at the DMV in rural Kansas.
Her
The bride of Frankenstein comes alive
in a reboot of the film classic. Humor
and horror are intertwined, as the creature’s friends throw a bridal shower in
the private room of Olive Garden.
Nebraska
The state, known for cattle
grazing, is the first state to secede from the union and elect a king. Taxes are raised to build an extravagant
castle, highlighted with a chocolate fountain.
Revolt follows.
Philomena
An airborne virus, discovered by
Dr. Philomena, wreaks havoc in the U.S. when it causes senators to communicate
by singing opera.
12 Years a Slave
After boarding the wrong flight to
North Korea in the mid-1950s, a balloon folder from Minnesota spends a dozen
years entertaining the ruling party.
The Wolf of Wall Street
A tense thriller unfolds in a New
York office complex when a wild Canis lupus is discovered in the snack room of
a hedge fund. A heroic broker attempts
to tame the beast by feeding it Cheetos.
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