In January 2016, I made 5 bold predictions for the upcoming year.
Well it's time to review and I'm sorry to report none of them
came to fruition.
Following are the predictions along with a brief synopsis
of reality.
5. NBC Airs Live Musical Version of “Scarface”
With the huge success of “The Wiz Live!” the Peacock
Network ups the ante with a song and dance version of the classic crime
thriller.
Hugh Jackman plays gangster Tony Montana with earnest, belting
out songs about drug trafficking and money laundering while playfully twirling
a chain saw.
The powerful climax has the coked-up mobster singing a whimsical
ballad called “Say Hello To My Little Friend” before unloading a t-shirt
gun into the audience.
What really happened: NBC opted to product "Hairspray
Live!" Yawn
4. Caitlyn Jenner Marries Jake From State Farm
TMZ breaks the story of former Olympian Caitlyn Jenner’s secret
nuptial with reclusive insurance huckster Jake.
A small ceremony of close friends and family takes place on a
secluded Hawaiian island. Dress is informal, as the bridesmaids wear
beige pants and red shirts.
No one protests the union and the quaint ceremony is officiated
by the Aflac duck.
What really happened: Brad & Angelina broke up.
3. President Obama Wins Cuba in Poker Game.
On a vacation to Cuba President Obama wins the Caribbean island in
a high stakes poker hand with Raul Castro.
The pot, which started out with a rum factory and parts of Dade
County, goes to Obama when he produces a straight flush.
The two men share a cigar while forming a transition plan that
includes opening several McDonald’s and filming a reality show called “The Real
Housewives of Havana.”
What really happened: Fidel Castro died.
2. The L.A. Lakers Draft Pop Group One Direction
After a dismal 2015 season, the L.A. Lakers bring “Showtime” back
to the Staples Center by drafting pop band One Direction.
The English-Irish group has no basketball skills, but that
doesn’t matter. The boys save all of their energy for the half
time show where they perform a greatest hits medley that blows the top off the
roof.
Best of all, departed singer Zayn Malik rejoins the group when
he is promised a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
What really happened: The Cavaliers won the NBA title.
1. Donald Trump Picks Steve Harvey as Running Mate
Comedian Steve Harvey is selected as Trump’s running mate and
immediately declares “The Don” winner of the presidential race.
The two exchange celebratory high fives as Wayne Newton sings
“Danke Schoen.”
After a windy acceptance speech, Trump is informed the actual
election isn’t for another four months.
Harvey is hastily ushered into the boardroom and fired.
What really happened: Trump won the presidential race.
Yikes!
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