Sunday, July 9, 2017

Humor Rewind by Gary George - A Week Glance at News July 2 - July 8, 2017




Tom Cruise birthday celebration turned deadly after fans jumping up and down on a couch were thrown into a wall.  Police warned it was risky business. 

Millions of American woke up on July 5th to one leftover deviled egg, leaving many depressed and lonely.  A confidential hotline has been set up for those needing help: 1-800-EGG-DEVIL.

On day one of European presidential trip, Merkel rolled eyes at Putin.  Putin batted eyes at Melania.  Trump lashed out at media.

Bill Cosby’s trial was renewed for a second season.  Look for a November premier.

A flight attendant on Delta airlines reportedly hit an unruly passenger over the head with a wine bottle.  It was a Club du Bois.

Michigan man returned to family after being trapped in a beach hammock since early June.  No foul play was suspected.  

A hot air balloon landed in a gator-infested Florida pond near Disney World.  Several reptiles complained there were no fries in the basket.

A Home Depot worker in Portland was fired for trying to stop a kidnapping.  The man was offered his job back after management agreed he got screwed.

A fight broke out at a neighborhood fireworks display when a man identified as Chet Farkins wouldn’t stop beatboxing the “Stars & Stripes Forever.” 

Upon careful review, a line judge declared Venus Williams not at fault in deadly car crash.

After intense talks, President Trump and Russian President Putin reached an agreement – the leaders ordered a large pepperoni pizza with mushrooms and green peppers.

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