Saturday, October 14, 2017

Who’s Who Among Non-Accredited Online Schools – 2017-2018

Who’s Who Among Non-Accredited Online Schools – 2017-2018
Following are several late entries to update the current volume.
Betty (Buzz) Mitnoksky
Born: September 29, 1992; Sheldon, Iowa    
Parents: Drake and Donna Mitnoksky
Online Degree: Beekeeping
Institution: BestWay University
Accomplishments: 
Voted:  Best Bee Beard, 2014 Hive Expo
Finalist:  Miss Pollen International, 2017  
Candidate  - Beekeepers in Space, 2016 
Best Educational Video: "Salve: Mixing & Applying," Insect Safety Coalition, 2017
Speaker:  "How to Accessorize Veiled Helmet," Entomologist Fashion Workshop
Employment: Cashier, Rite Aid
Future Plans: Syrup Biochemist 

Clark Wellnut

Born: May 1, 1997; Eureka, South Dakota

Parents:  Stanley and Elaine Wellnut

Online Degree:  Rodeo Clown Techniques
Institution:  Billy & Clevis Tech
Accomplishments:
Runner up:  Most Graceful Entry, Wooden Barrel, Texas Roundup, 2014 
Lecture:  "Cattle Distracting Techniques - 2020 & Beyond," Ranchers Convention
Merit Scholar - Corky's Clown Conservatory, 2016
Published:  "Random Trampling - Safety, Avoidance & Treatment," Cowboy Quarterly
Record Holder - Cross Corral Sprint, 12:09 second, 2015
Employment:  Unemployed 
Future Plans:  Uber Driver

Helm Flounder
Born:  July 8, 1980
Parents:  Albert and Diane Flounder
Online Degree:  Cryogenics
Institution: Coldwell Sci-Fi Institute
Accomplishments:
President/Founder: Lucky Stiff Club
Co-author - "How to Defrost & Revive Cornish Hens," Dry Ice Monthly, July, 2015
Registered - Suspended Animation Proponent (SAP)
Chaired - Meat Locker Roundtable, 2016 
Scheduled Keynoter Speaker - Brrrrr Symposium, 2018
Published: Thawing Cryogenic Stereotypes: What to Say to Whom, Cold Chronicle

Gloria Tutolinpini
Born:  March 5, 1965; Ispleming, Michigan 
Parents:  Kimba and Taffy Tutolinpini
Online Degree:  Ballroom dancing,
Institution:  L’école de Pied
Accomplishments:
Winner:  Local Talent Show, “Coat Rack Dance” (Prize: Case of Maraschino cherries) 
Invented:  "Cutting In" technique, using large machete, 2014
Lecture:  Teaching Preschoolers differences between Tango, Waltz & Potty Dance  
Full Scholarship: Devlin Rudner's Dance School and Tae Kwon Do Academy
Employment:  Casablanca Coin Laundry, Service Counter
Future Plans:  Circle the globe with cut out paper foot patterns

Gordon UpRidge
Born:  June 3, 1963; Rolla, Missouri                  
Parents:  Abe and Melonie UpRidge
Online Degree:  Gemology
Institution: Great Horn College
Accomplishments: 
Licensed Rock Tumbler Operator - polished over 3,568 mixed pebbles
Published: "Internal Hazards of Abrasive Grit," Gravel Digest, May 2016
First Place:  Gem Sculpting Competition - Carved 2-pound topaz into bust of Pitbull
Patent No. 2774965:  Created synthetic wedding band by baking all-day sucker
Certified Appraiser of precious stones, including jade, opal, feldspar and Milk Duds

Employment:  Ruby's Shrimp Shack, Cook/Dishwasher
Future Plans:  "I'm looking into Real Estate" 

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