Sunday, October 8, 2017

Humor Rewind by Gary George - A Week Glance at News October, 01 - October 07, 2017



ATM fees rose to record levels, as it now costs $10 to withdrawal $5.
According to North Korea, the U.S. tried to kill Kim Jong Un last May, in the parlor, with a candlestick.
Middle-age Americans in 2017 are less healthy than prior generations, according to a study by the Ruffles Cheddar and Sour Cream Institute.



MTV’s “Total Request Live” returned with first guest: a hologram of Elvis.
Vladimir Putin turned 65 this week and is now eligible for Medicare.
Delta announced free in-fight text messaging.  Also decreased the amount of legroom by one leg.

Top Story of the Week:  Sour Cream & Onion Potato Chips do not contain sour cream or onion.
Bob Seger canceled remainder of his tour and will be seeing a chiropractor down on Mainstreet.
The Nobel Prize in Hygiene was awarded to Swedish scientist Chet Farkins who discovered a deodorant that lasts 746 light years.




Europe ordered Amazon to pay $300 million in taxes.  Jeff Bezos reached in pocket and handed Europe a $500 million dollar bill.  Then asked for change.
Sarah Jessica Parker moves to Mifflin County Pennsylvania to stay with three Amish friends in new HBO series called “Celibacy in the City.”
According to the USA Today, the scariest place to trick-or-treat this Halloween is the Blair Witch Projects.

Netflix increased prices for U.S. subscribers, blaming “Strange Things.”
Puerto Rico purchased a Sony PlayStation on a MasterCard before getting its debt wiped out.
O.J. Simpson lost ball on golf course, then said he’ll do whatever it takes to find it and bring it back to its sleeve.
Medical Warning: Stop taking Victoza if you start shooting candy corn out of your fingertips.The American Journal of Fast Food revealed that McDonald’s fries have a shelf life of six minutes.
Women accused of killing Kim Jong-Un’s half brother plead “50% Guilty.”


For more humor news and views, follow me on Twitter: @garygeorgevich

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