Hugh Hefner died at the age of 91. Or 143,325 in bunny years.
A Copperhead snake bit a woman at LongHorn Steakhouse. Management claimed such occurrences were
medium rare.
Anthony Weiner was sentenced to 21 months in prison, then made request
for minimum security with free Wi-Fi.
Lionel Richie was confirmed as “America Idol” judge, after
passing on “Dancing on the Ceiling with the Stars” offer.
After 9 years in prison, O.J. Simpson said he’ll spend time with
family, friends, and finding Nemo.
Elon Musk revealed plan to colonize Mars. Subway immediately announced plans to open
2,200 stores by 2019.
To celebrate National Coffee Day, Verizon gave away one free
serving. Customers were asked to bring in
last year’s cup for trade-in.
HHS Secretary Tom Price resigned after using private planes and
experiencing debt lag.
As orange juice prices climbed to $8 per gallon, some
billionaires admitted they may switch to Sunny Delight.
Humane Society rejected a donation of Dr. Seuss books because of
treatment of Max in “How The Grinch Stole Christmas.” Also, dogs can’t read.
What’s the next date for the world to end … my Bed, Bath and Beyond coupon expires in two weeks.
Today in History: In 1942, the American Association of Burglars banned the use of nylons as a facial mask, after member Chet Farkins accidentally hung himself with a garter belt.
Today in History: In 1942, the American Association of Burglars banned the use of nylons as a facial mask, after member Chet Farkins accidentally hung himself with a garter belt.
Marilyn Manson was injured onstage during NYC show and is now
being examined by programmers from Westworld.
Monty Hall died and will be buried next to the crypt of Billy
Goat Gruff.
For more humor news and views, follow me on Twitter: @garygeorgevich
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