Sunday, December 10, 2017

Humor Rewind by Gary George - A Week Glance at News December, 03 - December 09, 2017


In news that shocked the legal world, Horton admitted he didn’t hear anything.
Motor Trend named Trump “Car of the Year.”
After allegations of improper behavior, Garrison Keillor retired to Lake I-Be-Gone.


A new study revealed dogs are smarter than cats, but either one capable of degree completion at University of Phoenix
UPS warned of delays this week and apologized to criminals waiting longer to steal packages from porches.
Netflix announced ‘House of Cards” would resume production in 2018 with new star, Ashton Kutcher.
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The State of California is being sued because too many students can’t read – it is a class action suit.
‘Layaway Angel’ at Toys R Us, paid $100,000 of strangers’ bills, also bought
Geoffrey the Giraffe an oversized Halls Mentho-Lyptus drop.

Former Today Show weatherman Willard Scott accused of inappropriately touching the Doppler radar screen in 2012.
Airlines industry profits soared 11 percent in 2017, mostly from removing salt from pretzels and selling cannabis bathrobes in SkyMall catalog.
Winston Churchill’s glasses fetched $8,000 at auction – buyer complained the spectacles pinched his nose.

Tony the Tiger was accused of cereal groping.
NBC revealed it would not pay off Matt Lauer’s contract, and would instead use the money to add lumbar support to all the chairs on The Voice.
Following failed Pontiac Silverdome implosion,  “The Backstreet Boys” concert went on as scheduled.

Billy Bush confirmed voice on tape was Donald Trump, then continued dressing mannequins in Dick’s Sporting Goods.
After CVS agreed to buy health insurer Aetna, Rite Aid announced it would correct the typo in name to read Right Aid.  
Olympic Committee banned Russia from 2018 Winter Games, also booted Fred Flintstone from Ice Capades for drinking 5-Hour Energy.





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