GoFundMe – Noah’s Ark / circa 3500 BC

The Goal – $536

I’m attempting to build an ark (large ship) on which two of all living creatures, both male and female, may be housed. 

That means two giraffes, two lions, two muskrats, etc.  (Although I am refusing to bring along the Labradoodle.)

A higher authority has given me detailed construction specifications. 

The vessel will be made of gopher wood, have three levels, and sport several internal compartments.  If additional money is raised, I’d like to add a chocolate fountain and disco on the lido deck.

The ark will be 450 feet long, 75 feet wide and 45 feet high - about the same size as my uncle’s new store, IKEA, just south of the city.

The Reason

I have it on good authority it will be raining for 40 days and 40 nights.  The ark will save the world’s animal population.  Except for the Labradoodle.

Believe me, I hope the weather reports aren’t true, as I’d rather be tinkering with my chariot or sunbathing in Mesopotamia.

Will it rain?  Time will tell. 

But why take the chance.

Why Your Support Is Needed

As an architectural engineer and shipbuilder, I’ve made a decent living, but certainly have not the means to bankroll a vessel of this magnitude.

The instructions to build an ark are already putting a strain on my family budget, as I was unable to take the kids out to eat at the Olive Garden of Eden.

The money will be used for supplies, labor, and beer.

What do I get for donating?

Pledge $5: My eternal gratitude

Pledge $10: My eternal gratitude and an autograph.

Pledge $50: Gratitude, autograph, and commemorative umbrella

Pledge $75: Spot on the boat

Pledge $100: Spot on the boat with ocean view.

Thank you in advance.

Noah

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