Sunday, July 30, 2017

Humor Rewind by Gary George - A Weak Glance at News July 23 - July 30, 2017


Following a weeklong technology consortium, experts agreed that Greek yogurt is not practical to be stored on the cloud.
Senior White House Advisor, Jared Kushner confirmed, “I did not have sexual relations with the Russians.”
Luxury fashion designer Michael Kors agreed to buy shoe company Jimmy Choo in 1.2 billion deal.  Management expected to get the boot.
Academy Award winning actor Ben Affleck was signed to play Batman - in Dunkirk ll.

Experts warned that great white sharks are getting braver in California, after one is spotted on shore, playing in a Calypso band.
Trump revealed a ban of transgender people from the military, claiming he is Saving Ryan’s Privates.
In Switzerland, a man was arrested following a chainsaw attack.  Police found him in a clearing in the woods.

Hillary Clinton’s campaign memoir to be titled “What Happened.”  Insights to be given by Raj, Dwayne, and Rerun.
Pop sensation Justin Beiber canceled the remainder of his international tour.  Tickets can be refunded at point if purchase, but your dignity will remain unredeemed.
Soviets retaliate against U.S. sanctions by banning export of Russian dressing.
After Senate rejected a plan to repeal parts of the Affordable Care Act, Republicans introduced an extra-skinny, slimmed down Obamacare replacement with Zero Calories.
Mayberry police release body camera video of Barney Fife, revealing that the officer followed procedure during a jaywalking incident that caused rioting.

Michigan resident, Chet Farkins, reported that someone popped up from the back seat of his car and put a plastic bag over his head.   Further investigation revealed it was only his cat playing a joke.
According to White House staff, President Trump spoke to 5 billion boy scouts at a jamboree.
Police push back against Trump's law-and-order speech, say they will continue to put two mints and a bath robe in the back of squad cars.

Follow me on Twitter: @garygeorgevich for more breaking news and insight.




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