Humor Rewind by Gary George - A Week Glance at News October, 29 - November 04, 2017

CIA released Osama bin Laden’s diary, still yet to declassify Bridget Jones’s.

For Halloween, Dentist in Muskegon, Michigan offered to put braces on fake Dracula fangs.

Special Council Robert Mueller charged David S. Pumpkins for wearing gaudy Halloween blazer.

Top 5 Worst Dollar Store Candies:

1. Sour Milk Duds
2. Melancholy Ranchers
3.  Björk Peppermint Patties
4. One Musketeer Bar
5. Reese’s Peanut Butter Specimen Cup

NYC attack suspect wanted ISIS flag in hospital room, also asked for satin sheets, a golf simulator, and tickets to Hamilton.

Actor Kevin Spacey revealed he’s dated both many men and a woman.

Starbucks revealed a holiday cup that comes with a color-it-yourself message: OVERPRICED.

Olympic torch arrived in South Korea, where it was accidentally extinguished when passed off to Frankenstein.

Top 3 Signs You’re Too Old to Trick-or-Treat:

1. Abraham Lincoln costume doesn't need a fake beard.
2. All money goes toward a down payment on a condo.
3. You’re dressed as a server at Applebee’s because you are a server at Applebee’s.

Trump began 12-day Asia trip, where he’ll pressure allies into increasing the font size on fortune cookies.

Scientists studying the Great Pyramid discovered a secret room, said to contain the bodies of two men, foosball table, mini fridge, and jar of Goldfish.

Lou Diamond Phillips apologized for DWI arrest, but said he had no regrets for lip-syncing in “La Bamba.”

Rogue employee disables Trump’s Twitter feed, also deactivates Kim Jong Un’s Pinterest account with the leader’s 7 great ideas for sock painting.

Dodgers’ Yasiel Puig burglarized during Game 7 of World Series, proving it’s not impossible to steal home.

The Department of Defense ran a “communications interoperability” training exercise where a man from Terre Haute, Indiana, talked directly into his toaster and raised the periscope of a nuclear sub.

Alec Baldwin is expecting his 5^th child, prepared by registering at Target and punching a paparazzi photographer in the face.

Follow me on Twitter: @garygeorgevich for more breaking news and insight

https://twitter.com/garygeorgevich