Comedian Louis C.K. agreed to go to counseling, on a
whip-it-outpatient basis.
After weeks of complaints, Apple fixed autocorrect
on EyePhone.
Garth Brooks admitted to lip-syncing at CMA, also
revealed he has a friend in a high place.
Ronald McDonald suffered broken McRib after being
attacked by neighbor.
In China, Trump team asked to meet with the
engineering firm that made the Great Wall.
Boxer Mike Tyson denied entry to Chile, then sent
home on plane where he was accused of talking a passenger’s ear off.
Top 5 Starbucks Holiday Drinks
- Inappropriate Office Party Moment Latte
- Batteries Not Included Chai
- Mass Once-a-Year Mocha
- Dried Pine Needle Punch
- Frugal Secret Santa Espresso
Bob Costa revealed he’d forbid his son from playing
football because of the beating he would take, adding “that goes double for
band.”
Ozzy Osbourne announced farewell tour, playlist to
feature new songs including “Coumadin Train” and “Iron Deficiency Man.”
Saudi royals swept up in corruption investigation
reportedly held at the Ritz-Carlton, where the windows were fitted with
minibars.
Comcast was hit by major outages this week, according
to Chet, customer service rep for North America.
Stephen Hawking warned artificial intelligence could
destroy civilization. Siri countered
that the physicist is full of crap.
Three UCLA basketball players arrested in China after
failing to make a fast break.
French technology company, Navya, unveiled
self-driving car that can be controlled with a joystick, just in case drivers
are chased by Blinky, Pinky, Inky, or Clyde.
President Trump said North Korean leaflet calling
him a “mad dog” is a bunch of Hong Kong Phooey.
Hollywood Reporter revealed Jack Benny had an
inappropriate relationship with his violin.
Management banned O.J. Simpson from The Cosmopolitan
Casino in Las Vegas, allegedly for counting blondes.
Trump and Putin agreed to defeat IS in Syria, still
disagree on “Taste Great, Less Filling.”
Top 3 Lesser Crimes on the Orient Express
- Pickpocketing
- Panhandle
- Loitering
No comments:
Post a Comment