In
January 2017, I made 5 bold predictions for the upcoming year.
Well
it's time to review and I'm sorry to report none of them came to fruition.
Following
are the predictions along with a brief synopsis of reality.
Trump Shoots Vladimir Putin in Duel
After initial admiration wanes, Donald Trump
challenges the Russian president to a duel.
The men meet in a neutral location on a Swiss mountain.
Prior to commencement, Trump’s pistol misfires
and accidently grazes the Soviet leader.
A stunned Putin cries foul and demands Trump pay
for his dry cleaning.
Afterward, the two world leaders meet at the Craft
service table and split a chocolate gateau.
What really happened: The leaders donned
matching blue pajamas and shook hands.
Batman Vs. Porky Pig
With superhero villains running scarce, Warner
Bros. Pictures releases Batman vs. Porky Pig.
The Caped Crusader underestimates the Looney
Tunes pig, who attacks with the ferociousness of a wild boar.
The climatic battle finds Batman being gored by
the squealing, maniacal swine.
Who wins?
The box office.
What really happened: Wonder Woman wowed
audiences and garnered Oscar nomination for Best Picture. Go girl!
Cowboys Lose Super Bowl After Ill-Timed Mannequin Challenge
With the game on the line against New England
Patriots, the Dallas Cowboys opt to do a Mannequin Challenge.
The badly timed stunt occurs as the Patriots
attempt to score on the last play of the game.
Quarterback Tom Brady realizes the defensive
line has frozen in place, at which point he tiptoes into the end zone.
The Patriots win 35-34, after which the Cowboys
protest the game, claiming New England had agreed to participate in the viral
Internet video.
The NFL plans to thoroughly investigate the
incident.
What really happened: Patriots beat Atlanta in Super Bowl.
No Mannequin Challenge needed, only Tom Brady.
Bernie Sanders Awes Paris Fashion Show With Dress Sock Collection
Ex-Presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders puts his
name on a line of dress socks with diamond-studded leg suspenders.
The combination is a surprise hit during Paris
Fashion Week and catapults the junior United States Senator from Vermont into
the fashion spotlight.
Knockoff pieces show up on shelves at T.J. Maxx
as the public flocks to buy the footwear ensemble.
All proceeds are donated to a scholarship fund
for street mimes.
What really happened: Paris fashion show featured giant dragon-unicorn from designer Thom
Brown; Bernie nowhere to be found.
Kim Kardashian Abducted by Aliens
TMZ reports Kim Kardashian has been taken to an unidentified
aircraft by space creatures.
The socialite confirms the abduction via Twitter
and announces a reality show based on her capture.
USA Network broadcasts the summer-long ordeal
that reveals extraterrestrials are a fun-loving lot. No more so when they open the hatch and shoot
a T-Shirt gun at star-struck fans gazing up from earth.
What really happened: Kim Kardashian announced baby via surrogate,
aliens stayed away.
Look for my 2018 predictions soon, and thank you for reading.
Follow me on Twitter: @garygeorgevich for more breaking news and insight
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