Monday, January 22, 2018

Top 5 Ways Photoshop Is Better Than Cosmetic Surgery



Top 5 Ways Photoshop is Better Than Cosmetic Surgery

The desire to look our best has been around since the invention of the mirror, sometime around 1835 by a German scientist who was told he had spinach in his teeth.

With the rise of social media, people all over the world may see that image.

It’s no wonder the vain among us have contemplated cosmetic surgery.  Last year people who’ve “had a little work done’ spiked to over 17 million, not including taxidermy.

But before splurging on a buttock augmentation or tummy tuck, you may want to consider Photoshop.  The graphic-editing software offers many advantages over more invasive procedures.  Here are five:

Instant Results

Johnny Depp’s chiseled jaw may be a great idea, but you better have patience.  The recovery time for chin augmentation is longer than the director’s cut of “Pirates of the Caribbean.”

With Photoshop there’s no waiting. 

Just open your favorite JPEG and in the time it takes you to eat a box of Raisinets, you can slim your waist, bulk up your pecs, and smooth out those cankles.

You’ll be posting on Instagram quicker than you can say, “Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate.”

All Gain - No Pain

Grab a brochure in any plastic surgeon’s office and you’ll likely find beautiful people smiling like they just won the Publisher’s Clearinghouse grand prize.

What they don’t show is the bruising, swelling and ice packs.

That’s because puffy eyes and stitches may deter folks from using a cosmetic surgery Groupon.

But Photoshop is as pain free as painting a picture.  You may suffer eyestrain or poor posture, but you won’t have to shuffle down the hallway with a morphine drip.

Sky’s The Limit

Unless you’re Mickey Rourke, you may have to limit your number of cosmetic procedures.

But with Photoshop you don’t have to choose between a nose job or breast enlargement.

The tool palette allows for a wide range of touch-ups.

Looking pale?  Slide the color adjustment bar to add magenta. 

Cursed with an unsightly mole?  Cover it up with the cloning function.

Dark circles?  Wrinkles?  Droopy eyelids?  All can be fixed with a few quick strokes.

Within minutes you’ll be ready for your close-up.  Take that Mr. DeMille.
                                                       
Do-Over

What do you do if ear surgery leaves you looking like Dr. Spock from the original “Star Trek?”

Well oftentimes, it’s back to the cutting board.

And fixing the botched results may incur the same pain and recovery as the first go-around.

But Photoshop has an “undo” button.  No need to gas up the car and head back to the hospital.

Simply hit Control--Z and bam!  Those lobes can be made smooth and round.

Live long and prosper.

Cost                                                                                                                           

Cosmetic surgery is not cheap.  A face-lift or liposuction may drain your bank account quicker that a Bernie Madoff annuity.

But you shouldn’t have to borrow against your 401 (k) to look good.

Photoshop may be purchased on the cloud for only $9.99 per month.  About the cost of lunch at Panera (not include beverage.)

So there you have it. 

Start touching up those photos and show the world you’re a perfect 10.

Cue Ravel’s Bolero.

No comments:

Post a Comment